I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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