How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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