A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
