dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize