Its about making memories worth repressing
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize