I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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