Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize