I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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