um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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