after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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