Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
