Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
