guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize