She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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