just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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