i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need to calm my uterus...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
