Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
