She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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