I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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