I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
