I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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