i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize