He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
