I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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