You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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