It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
