You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
