i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
