Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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