i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think my mom watched the whole time
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Randomize