it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
