That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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