the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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