I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
