I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
