I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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