she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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