Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
