is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dicks are not precious.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
