Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize