I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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