I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
