Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize