Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
