Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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