I cannot find my penis.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
