I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
