I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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