He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
