help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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