I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
