I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize