who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
