It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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