whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
