a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
