a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i out mim tonsoeep
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