he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
