Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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