Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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