I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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