sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
