put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
