is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize