I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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