Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
